How often I go back and forth between these questions! The Christian walk - mine, at least - is so often full of bumps and bobbles, twists and turns, soaring heights and dismal depths, that I occasionally don't know if I'm coming or going.
So, of course, we come to another "car meditation." Why is it that God so often visits me and speaks to me while I'm listening to KLOVE or WRVL in my car? This morning KLOVE played "What If?" a song by Jadon Lavik:
What if I climbed that mountain,
What if I swam to that shore,
What if every battle was victorious,
Then would You love me more?
Would You love me more?
What if I were everyone's first choice, what if I went farther than before,
What if I stood high above the rest,
Then would You love me more?
Would You love me more?You say I belong to You apart from the things I do
You say I belong to You I'm in awe of why You do
Why you do, why You do, I'm in awe of You, oohWhat if I ignored the hand that fed me,
What if I forgot to confess,
What if I stumbled down that mountain,
Then would You love me less?
Lord, would You love me less?
What if I were everyone's last choice, what if I mixed in with the rest,
What if I failed what I passed before,
Then would You love me less?
Lord would You would You love me less?You say I belong to You apart from the things I do
You say I belong to You I'm in awe of why You do
You do You do You do
What have I done to deserve Your Son sent to die for me?
What can I give? I want to live, give me eyes to see
In a world that keeps changing, there's one thing that I know is true:
Your love is staying; there's nothing else I'll hold on toYou say I belong to You apart from the things I do
You say I belong to You I'm in awe of why You do
Why You do
You say I belong to You apart from the things I do
You say I belong to You I'm in awe of why You do
I'm in awe of You I'm in awe of You
The way You love me, the way You do
I think all Christians want to go out and BE something for God - to DO something to earn His approval. I doubt there's a single true Christian out there who wouldn't jump happily at the chance to hit the "Press for instant Sanctification" button!
We love our Lord and all that He has done for us so much that we're like puppies: all bumbling and clumsy in our eagerness to please. Yet, like puppies, we have a very short attention span and are easily distracted. We take our eyes off of Jesus, and fall into sinful behavior. We realize our guilt and then hide in the corner, not wanting to confess and disappoint our beloved Master.
But I think that what we forget is that God knows all our faults already! We won't be confessing anything that will surprise Him. After all, God is omniscient - He knows the end from the beginning, and He knows His children from before they were even born. When Christ hung on the Cross, all of OUR sins were still future. Yet God still placed them upon His Son and Jesus bore the full brunt of God's wrath for those sins. The debt I owe has been paid - it has been paid for 2,000 years!
When God called me to Him, to come to Him for His forgiveness and grace, all the eternal punishment for my sins had been paid for. Not only that, but God then placed all the righteousness of the life Jesus lived upon me. I - and all believers - are clothed with Christ's perfection, and may stand upright before the holy God. This presents an odd and uncomfortable dichotomy: although we have been declared righteous, and although we have received the righteousness of Christ credited to our account, we still sin and stumble and forget and stray.
I think that's where this song comes from. I think that's where our feelings of uncertainty come from. Our head, our new spirit, KNOWS our position before God - but our bodies and hearts are still living here on earth. We want so much to obey and to live lives which glorify God, and yet we constantly fail. And so we get caught up in "proving" our faith and love to a God who already knows our heart! Knowing us so well, God has made provision already for our failures: payment for our sin and complete restoration to His family.
So, God can't love me less when I sin and fail: He already proved His infinite love for me when His Son loved me so much that He died for my sins. And how could God love me more, when, as I said, His Son sacrificed Himself on my behalf, even knowing all my sins?
God has proven His love to be perfect, and the vacillations of my feelings are of no account. When I feel like I'm failing God and He loves me less, I need to turn to Him in confession and trust, for His love will never leave me nor forsake me. When I get into super-Christian mode and try to earn my way into His favor, again, I must come before Him in confession and faith, knowing that it is not by my righteousness but that of my Savior that I have been granted access to Heaven.
And you He made alive, who were dead in trespasses and sins, in which you once walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air, the spirit who now works in the sons of disobedience, among whom also we all once conducted ourselves in the lusts of our flesh, fulfilling the desires of the flesh and of the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, just as the others.
But God, who is rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in trespasses, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved), and raised us up together, and made us sit together in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, that in the ages to come He might show the exceeding riches of His grace in His kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast. (Ephesians 2:1-9, bold emph. mine)
It is God who has done this wonderful work and given me the freedom to live and worship Him in my imperfections. Any work that God does is perfect and complete - and so I know that I can
[be] confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in [me] will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ
Every time I stumble, therefore, every time I fail, I need to come back to His Word and remind myself of His objective truth. I am what He says I am - and He says that I am HIS. I am His servant and His child. He knew me before I was formed in the womb, and He chose me from eternity past. It is by His perfect and holy will that He called me, and not because of anything I had done or earned. For some reason known only to Him, He chose me in my unworthiness, and I will forever be grateful!
As I have said before, it is a tightrope at times, but I know the hands of God are holding and guiding me, and I know He will work out His will for my life. But since I am still this side of Glory, I am still walking by faith, and not by sight. And that's OK, because "I know whom I have believed and am persuaded that He is able to keep what I have committed to Him until that Day."
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Posted by: Always On Watch | September 13, 2007 at 08:02 AM