Last night at church, during the meeting for the Bible study groups going through Experiencing God, our pastor asked us to respond to one of the statements from the video, which had first made an appearance in last week's study:
I hear many people say, "I really struggle trying to have time alone with God." If that is a problem you face, let me suggest something; make the priority in your life to love Him with all your heart... People who struggle to spend time with God don't have a scheduling problem; they have a love problem. (p. 59)
The silence in the room went on for a while. I know that *I* didn't want to say anything because I know it's a problem in my life.
But as the members of our little group opened up, I listened and realized that I wasn't all that unusual: we all had problems getting away and finding time alone with God. We all struggled with guilt and a lack of faithful time with our loving Father. I wasn't alone in this.
Suddenly I realized that God doesn't require me to sit and study the Bible for hours on end - that's important, but that's not a relationship. I realized that I didn't have to meet with Him from 6:23 a.m. to 6:48 a.m. every day for a "quiet time" - that's legalistic. I didn't have to have a set schedule of 10 minutes of prayer, 15 of Bible study, three hymns, one teaching program and an hour of interceding for my country and my family... No.
God simply wants me to spend some time... with Him. He just wants me to talk... to Him. The irritations and fears and triumphs of the day need to be discussed... with Him. That wonderful song which touched my heart so much needs to be shared... with Him.
God just wants me to be with Him and love Him.
You know, He gave me a great example last week (which, being Madam Sieve-for-Brains, I promptly forgot): I was driving in to pick up the Munchkin at school, and I got a little nudge to just turn off the car radio and drive in the quiet. Suddenly, I started talking:
God, I really don't know how to do this. I mean, really, I am totally clueless here! I feel so out of control, I don't know what to do next, and I know I'm failing You. Sometimes I don't know why You bother with me; I'm a terrible Christian, and I don't love You as I should, but I don't know how! I'm feeling frustrated because I can never get it right, and absolutely helpless to move one way or another, and I just feel so STUCK! You have got to fix this, God, 'cause I don't know how and it's driving me completely out of my mind with irritation and disgust for myself!!! AAAAARRRGGGHHHH!!!!
And just as I wound down, a little tendril of peace wiggled into my heart. Just a little piece, and it seemed to say, "It's OK. I've got you."
That's all.
But when I recalled the event last night, I realized... that's enough. That was all I needed to remind me of the God of the WHOLE UNIVERSE, who really and truly loves little ol' me... and just wants me to spend time with Him.
Even if it is in the car on the way to school. The glory of God, wrapped up in the mundane routine of life.
You know... God... is really - really! - COOL!
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