Dave Barry's Year in Review... and cute kittens

Yep. This is a good way to spend New Year's Day - reading Dave Barry. Some highlights:

Abroad, Fidel Castro steps down after 49 years as president of Cuba, explaining that he wants to spend more time decomposing. In selecting his successor, the Cuban national assembly, after conducting an exhaustive nationwide search, selects Fidel's brother, Raul, who narrowly edges out Dennis Kucinich.
In sports, the undefeated New England Patriots lose the Super Bowl to the New York Giants in a stunning upset that confounds the experts, not to mention Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, which had $38 billion on the Pats to win.
In environmental news, Earth Hour is observed on March 29, when cities around the world display their commitment to conserving energy by turning out their lights for one hour. When the lights come back on, Detroit is missing.
the International Atomic Energy Agency releases a report stating that Iran is actively developing nuclear warheads. In response, Iran issues a statement asserting that (1) it absolutely is not developing nuclear warheads, and (2) these are peaceful warheads. The United States, the United Kingdom, Germany, France, Russia and China convene an emergency meeting, during which they manage, in heated negotiations, to talk France out of surrendering.
Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac invest $17 billion in an Herbalife franchise.
Speaking of vegetables, the big scare in June comes from the Food and Drug Administration, which announces that tomatoes are killing people. A wave of fear grips the nation as supermarket shoppers stampede from the produce section, causing several fatal shopping-cart mishaps. At the height of the panic, with the tomato industry reeling, the FDA declares that, oops, the killer might not be tomatoes, but some other vegetable, possibly jalapeño peppers, but nobody knows for sure. Eventually everyone calms down, but not before a bank in Cleveland is held up by a man wielding only a stalk of asparagus.
Speaking of trouble, the economic news continues to worsen with the discovery that Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac have sent $87 billion to a Nigerian businessman with a compelling e-mail story.
Also troubling is the news from Iran, which test-fires some long-range missiles, although Iranian President Whackjob Lunatic insists that Iran intends to use these missiles "for stump removal."

... Oh forget it - just go read the whole thing; it's hilarious!

And now for more hilarity, I present to you... KITTENS AND COKE!!!!!

Ah, a day is not wasted when you can combine politics, cats, cuteness and laughter...

4 Comments

Dave Barry's always worth reading. You'd think, though, that as easy as it was for him to dig up the Phreddie and Phannie stories that Congress woulda known something was going on...

*heh*

Posted by: David | January 01, 2009 at 02:42 PM